Today was the best day I have had in, well, since I can remember. At least a dozen or so days. Yesterday was great, being on the road and exploring various places, but today I didn’t have that urge to vomit constantly. I got some things done around the house this morning and decided to go for a walk in the forest this afternoon while it was still warm. My husband has been sick for several days with a cold or something I haven’t gotten (yet) so he sat out today’s walk again. I surely do miss him while I’m out there walking alone. It’s lonely, however, I do alone quite well. He does alone really well too. I guess that is one of the reasons why we fit well together.

While we were “dating”, I use that term loosely because we never really went on a real date, we were known to o several months without seeing each other due to circumstances beyond our control. I lived far away for a period of time, he had things to do that kept him away from home, yet we were always in contact. Someone actually told me that we had the weirdest relationship they had ever seen. Turns out they don’t know what a relationship is about to begin with and has abusive tendencies; I feel so sad for those who don’t get to experience a relationship like the one my husband and I have. We are best friends, first and foremost. I guess that is what got us through the years of being apart so often. It wasn’t easy, and he had told me at one point to find someone else because our living situations were not looking to improve. Eventually, God stepped in and made some drastic changes to our lives and we ended up married out of the clear blue. It was literally an over night decision and it was the best one we’ve made. Without God’s intervention and making some difficult, yet drastic changes in our lives, we would likely still be living apart or maybe I would have chosen to move on and find another relationship…gosh..that doesn’t even sound right though! It was always the two of us, even when we were not together, so moving on and “finding someone new” was not reallllly an option even though I toyed with the idea at times. He went through a phase where he thought it would be best for me because his situation was not going to change. Then it did, and everything changed.

Anyway, we can still be apart from one another without any issue at all. Anyone in the outside world must think that we break up from time to time because I’ll head off in the truck and not be home for a few days, or a week or more. I’m just a gypsy like that : ) He wonders sometimes if I’ll even come home from the forest when I’m out there hours at a time. He’s lucky I don’t carry my camping gear with me anymore. I state anymore because I used to carry my black box everywhere with me and it included everything I could need for at least a few days out in the field, or the forest. I’ve gone out to do a night in the forest and not come out into civilization for two weeks. My daughter was potty trained in the forest during a month long camping excursion. That’s a story for another day! That was the month I found my true love for the forest and lost any fears I had from growing up with a father who teased me constantly about being in the dark and seeing either the Jersey Devil or some other fairy tail. I faced the fears I had, and guess what? I survived! Now, I didn’t actually get out of my tent when some large mammal was stomping its feet outside my tent, then proceeded to sniff the tent right where my head was laying…but I didn’t panic. I did make an emergency exit when we had a mother bear seeking food from the fish I made over a fire one night. She had her cubs and must have thought I invited her family for leftovers. Turned out that I was camping amidst one of the areas with the highest concentration of bear. I should have written everything down during all the time I spent. The memories are great though. In all I’ve spent more than 3 months in the forest on long camping trips. I did not get to go this summer, but I’m hoping to get out there this month and next month while we still have moderately warm weather. This will be the first time I’m bringing my husband though. It was always just myself and my daughter on long camping trips. He came out from time to time when time permitted, but not more than a night or two just to visit.

I remember one night I heard someone with a chain saw at 1am in the middle of nowhere and called my husband. I don’t remember too many details but he called dispatch and state police when, then he couldn’t reach me via phone so he started on the journey out to the forest. He was on his way out there when he learned that I had been on the phone for an hour with the game warden en route to my location and I was indeed alive; no chainsaw massacre. I think that was the only real time there was panic about my whereabouts and being alone. I had props so that it appeared as though there were several people camping in the one spot. It worked. Mens boots outside the tent, multiple tents (which I needed for gear anyway), and lots of intricately tied ropes and things hanging from trees made it a go-away for people that might otherwise mess with a lone female in the forest.


We are heading off to watch a rocket launch so I will close here. Thankfully it’s a warm night! dsc07730


Journal 16 Oct 2016

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